By now I've learned that getting on the road early is a misnomer and I decide to sleep in a bit and enjoy my vacation.
The aging ones are finally ready to hit the road at 11:00 and would like to head to IKEA today. Good lord, does IKEA have motorized scooters?
We make the trek from the house to the car, painfully get everyone buckled in and head out onto the open highway when my dad pipes up from the back seat "wow look at the traffic would you? I've never seen this many cars, it's more than Chicago!"
Geez, its' a common theme and literally the same statement every single time we are in the car. I've stopped even responding to it at this point. So, he feels the need to repeat it at every turn onto a new road.
I decide that since we are heading to the Chandler area we can meet my hubby for lunch/breakfast/brunch...whatever...it's noon when we get there. Lunch ends and we make it to IKEA, even though my dad is certain I don't know where I'm going.
So, IKEA...no scooters and a path through the store with very few shortcuts is so much fun when we discover that the item we came for (they were purchasing flatware) is about 10 steps from the front entrance. Fantastic...we spent an hour walking...again, slooowly...through the whole store.
And, while walking through the store, have I mentioned that they continually stop to look at whatever catches their eye but do so stopped in the complete middle of the aisle with no room to walk around them. Everyone behind them has to just wait and these two are completely oblivious.
I try to shuffle them off to the side and they just don't get it. Every time they stop it's the same. At one point a woman was a bit huffy behind them, although, didn't say a word. I apologize and again move them out of the way...she passes as my dad exclaims "Well, some people are just so rude!"
Really?! Geez, is there a plot of sand I can bury my head in now?
Our excursion to IKEA over, I ask them where they want to go next...since we are Power Shopping and all...and almost throw a party when they say they are exhausted and are happy to head home!
Vacation Schmacation...I need a beach somewhere and a tropical drink.
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Let the shopping begin...
Day Three...Power Shopping
Huh, does power shopping somehow involve a slow, painfully slow, trip through...wait for it...Sam's Club? It does for the Illinoisans. Let me preface this by saying that while I am up, showered and ready to head out by 9:30 (which is a far cry later than the average work day) the Illinoisans wake up around 9:30 and proceed to move at the pace of the turtles (and not the ninja variety). So, at 11:00 we are ready to head out for power shopping. I ask where they would like to head, ready to aim my vehicle for the Scottsdale Fashion Square or some such holiday shopping Mecca.
Sam's Club comes the reply. Ok...
So, we get in the car...I can't even express what a feat this is. My dad can't buckle his belt, so Esther is going to help him...yes this takes an entire 4 minutes. We head out and my dad exclaims "wow look at the traffic would you? I've never seen this many cars, it's more than Chicago!" Really? Ok, we'll at this point it's cute. And I'm glad I'm doing the driving.
We drive the 5 minutes too the local Sam's Club, slooowly get out of the car, complete with my dad not being able to figure out how to get the seat belt off...push the red button I say. I can't see the button is his response. Ok, we will help you....we get him out and walk, again slooowly to the doors to enter. Esther asks my dad to get his card out to show the attendant.
Yep, he can't find it....in the mean time I've dug mine out and I'm heading in...but wait, where are they? Yep standing in the entrance, blocking the way for all others looking through every pocket in my dads pants and jacket for his card. Finding it after an extensive search they head to the scooters, Esther hops (as much as one with a cane can hop) in and we are racing beside her as she speeds through the store. If only I had a hook on the back of my car to bring one along for every ride.
We gather the items they are sure they cannot live without while they are here and head to the checkout...what? It's now 1:30? How can that be?
Yes they bought maybe 10 items, and we have spent nearly 2 hours "power shopping".
This is where it gets good. My dad decides that he might want to stop off in the bathroom before we make the looong (5 minute drive) back home. He literally spends 12 minutes in the bathroom. I'm ready to send out a search party when he arrives. On the way out the door I see a hearing aid kiosk located near the check out area. I stop over and ask the gentleman if he could do an exam on my father - have I mentioned that I have to repeat literally every. single. thing I say twice?. He is available and I convince my reluctant dad to have a seat. The first step is looking in his ears only to see that an entire wax museum has taken up residence. Yuck, right! I agree that we will have his ears cleaned elsewhere and we make an appointment for the following Thursday (two days after Christmas). Doesn't that sound like just the Christmas treat?!
Exhausted, we head home (and I once again field the question/statement "wow look at the traffic would you? I've never seen this many cars, it's more than Chicago!") where I make lunch and we rest.
Power shopping at its finest...not
Huh, does power shopping somehow involve a slow, painfully slow, trip through...wait for it...Sam's Club? It does for the Illinoisans. Let me preface this by saying that while I am up, showered and ready to head out by 9:30 (which is a far cry later than the average work day) the Illinoisans wake up around 9:30 and proceed to move at the pace of the turtles (and not the ninja variety). So, at 11:00 we are ready to head out for power shopping. I ask where they would like to head, ready to aim my vehicle for the Scottsdale Fashion Square or some such holiday shopping Mecca.
Sam's Club comes the reply. Ok...
So, we get in the car...I can't even express what a feat this is. My dad can't buckle his belt, so Esther is going to help him...yes this takes an entire 4 minutes. We head out and my dad exclaims "wow look at the traffic would you? I've never seen this many cars, it's more than Chicago!" Really? Ok, we'll at this point it's cute. And I'm glad I'm doing the driving.
We drive the 5 minutes too the local Sam's Club, slooowly get out of the car, complete with my dad not being able to figure out how to get the seat belt off...push the red button I say. I can't see the button is his response. Ok, we will help you....we get him out and walk, again slooowly to the doors to enter. Esther asks my dad to get his card out to show the attendant.
Yep, he can't find it....in the mean time I've dug mine out and I'm heading in...but wait, where are they? Yep standing in the entrance, blocking the way for all others looking through every pocket in my dads pants and jacket for his card. Finding it after an extensive search they head to the scooters, Esther hops (as much as one with a cane can hop) in and we are racing beside her as she speeds through the store. If only I had a hook on the back of my car to bring one along for every ride.
We gather the items they are sure they cannot live without while they are here and head to the checkout...what? It's now 1:30? How can that be?
Yes they bought maybe 10 items, and we have spent nearly 2 hours "power shopping".
This is where it gets good. My dad decides that he might want to stop off in the bathroom before we make the looong (5 minute drive) back home. He literally spends 12 minutes in the bathroom. I'm ready to send out a search party when he arrives. On the way out the door I see a hearing aid kiosk located near the check out area. I stop over and ask the gentleman if he could do an exam on my father - have I mentioned that I have to repeat literally every. single. thing I say twice?. He is available and I convince my reluctant dad to have a seat. The first step is looking in his ears only to see that an entire wax museum has taken up residence. Yuck, right! I agree that we will have his ears cleaned elsewhere and we make an appointment for the following Thursday (two days after Christmas). Doesn't that sound like just the Christmas treat?!
Exhausted, we head home (and I once again field the question/statement "wow look at the traffic would you? I've never seen this many cars, it's more than Chicago!") where I make lunch and we rest.
Power shopping at its finest...not
Day Two
Day Two...Well, because I had expected the Illinoisans on Tuesday evening, I had to work all day Tuesday. I left them to get acclimated and rest from their trying excursion to the west.
We discussed what they would like to do in the coming days prior to Christmas and Esther express a desire to go "power shopping".
I would soon find out that we have different definitions of what that means.
Stay tuned...
The Eagles Have Landed
Day ONE
So, my dad and his "life partner" Esther (she asked me to stop referring to her as his girlfriend) are visiting from Illinois. I've decided since I can't express my angst or document their age related hilarity on Facebook (since Esther is a member) I would begin a blog. I feel like having a space to write out the every day nuttiness will help me to process and not be frustrated...right?
So - going back to day 1 - dad and Esther arrived on Monday, December 17th. Our journey begins on Sunday, December 16th when the phone rings while I'm baking cookies...in my somewhat messy house. Joe is taking a nap (at 8:00pm) on the couch and our plan is to finish the cleaning on Monday night...yes, we are procrastinators.
It is Esther calling to tell me that she is excited about their arrival...tomorrow on December 17th. What? I have their arrival on my calendar as December 18th. I wrote it down while talking to her.
So in a Deaf Con 5 panic we - CLEANED, CLEANED, CLEANED... and picked them up from the airport Monday night.
By the way...did I mention that they bought one way tickets and don't know when their return date to Illinois is?
Fun!
So, my dad and his "life partner" Esther (she asked me to stop referring to her as his girlfriend) are visiting from Illinois. I've decided since I can't express my angst or document their age related hilarity on Facebook (since Esther is a member) I would begin a blog. I feel like having a space to write out the every day nuttiness will help me to process and not be frustrated...right?
So - going back to day 1 - dad and Esther arrived on Monday, December 17th. Our journey begins on Sunday, December 16th when the phone rings while I'm baking cookies...in my somewhat messy house. Joe is taking a nap (at 8:00pm) on the couch and our plan is to finish the cleaning on Monday night...yes, we are procrastinators.
It is Esther calling to tell me that she is excited about their arrival...tomorrow on December 17th. What? I have their arrival on my calendar as December 18th. I wrote it down while talking to her.
So in a Deaf Con 5 panic we - CLEANED, CLEANED, CLEANED... and picked them up from the airport Monday night.
By the way...did I mention that they bought one way tickets and don't know when their return date to Illinois is?
Fun!
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